


The Hint

by QueenBagelcat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Family, Family Feels, Gen, No Romance, No Smut, Not A Fix-It, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, it takes a village
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 22:19:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15277392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBagelcat/pseuds/QueenBagelcat
Summary: Set post 13.23, Sam is trying to find a way to rescue his brother. Help comes from an unexpected source.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I was thinking about everything after the season finale. I have no doubt that the show will take us in new and exciting directions in Season 14 - turning this entire story into AU after the Season 14 premiere. But, I wanted to explore this time and figured I should post this now that filming has begun. This story isn't about rescuing Dean so much as it is an exploration of family. And don't worry, Chuck and Amara are only in this first chapter.

Amara walked into the garden. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the flowers were a riot of vibrant colours, matched only by the wings of the butterflies that flitted between the blossoms. The garden her brother had created for her in the early days of their reconnecting was one of her favourite places. It was a special place that reminded her of how lucky she was to have found her brother again. Chuck would often come sit with her here and share stories of his time on earth masquerading as a human. He'd laugh and tell her about the ridiculous ways of humans, but sometimes Chuck seemed wistful as he talked about his favourite creation.

Today Amara found her brother pacing amongst the flowers, agitated in a way he hadn't been since they left earth on their path to becoming a family again.

"Brother, what is bothering you?" Amara asked.

"Oh, Amara. Hey. I was just checking in on my human friends and I discovered something awful." Chuck always acted surprised to see her, a left over human affectation since they were always aware of each other's presence. But his distress seemed genuine.

"What has happened?," she asked, motioning him to sit beside her on the low bench they usually shared.

"Well, you remember the Winchesters, right?," he asked as he flopped down beside her. Amara picked up his hand and smiled fondly. Of course she remembered the Winchesters. Dean had been the reason that she had her brother here beside her. She nodded as Chuck continued with a sigh.

"Lucifer's son tore a rip between their world and one of the many alternative ones. The Winchesters and their friends have been going back and forth trying to save each other. But now, Gabriel is dead, Lucifer is dead and a version of Michael has possessed Dean and is bent on destroying their world." Chuck hung his head. Two of his beloved sons had been killed. One version of Michael was lost to Him in hell and the other was determined to destroy his favourite creation and take Dean and Sam, his favourite humans with him. Amara could feel his pain.

"That is sad news, Chuck," Amara gave His hand a squeeze, sharing her comfort and love. Chuck smiled up at her.

"Maybe I should step in? Sam and Dean have suffered so much to protect my creation. Maybe I should do something?" Chuck seemed conflicted, but Amara just shook her head.

"No, you are wise to stay away. And you swore you would not interfere again. The Winchesters have accomplished against impossible odds before. I am confident that they can do it again," Amara counseled. She leaned her head on his shoulder. "And should they fail - well there are others, and Dean and Sam have earned their eternal rest."

Amara felt Chuck sigh again, but although she knew that he was considering her words carefully, he was hiding something. There were few barriers between them, but Amara knew better than to pry at the few secrets her brother kept from her. She stood, tugging on his hand that was still in her own.

"Come Brother, walk with me and let us think of happier things." Chuck smiled at her and rose. He tucked her arm into the crook of his own and they began to stroll among the flowers. Amara felt a slight change in him, as if he had put his worries aside and she was glad.

xxxxxxxx

Becky was sitting on a crystal throne in a majestic forest. Her gossamer gown was shimmering in the green light that filtered through the lush canopy high above. A golden circlet glittered on her brow and the rings on her fingers caught the light and sparkled. On his knees in front of her was Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil, Prince of the Woodland Realm. His long blond hair blew gently in the soft breeze and he was offering her a magnificent blue gem the size of her fist. The gem glowed from within with a beautiful elvish light.

"My lady," he said staring deep into her eyes. "I offer this gem to you as a token of my love, unworthy though it be. It pales beside your exquisite beauty."

Becky extended a regal hand and took the gem, offering the elf a benevolent but sad smile.

"Oh Legolas, I am flattered, but my heart belongs to another." His elegant face was creased with a frown.

At that Jon Snow, heir to the Iron Throne of the Seven Kingdoms stepped from behind a tree. Legolas turned away, crushed as Jon stepped up to Becky. He plucked the stone from her fingers and tossed it aside, dragging her fingers to his lips.

"My love," Jon said, "You're mine and I'm yours."

Just then a loud crack was heard and Sirius Black apparated into the forest clearing, wand raised.

"Get away from her you scoundrel!," he shouted. Jon Snow jumped back, pulling Longclaw from its scabbard. With an inhuman swiftness, Legolas pulled his bow, and pointed an arrow at the wizard's heart. The three were determined to fight to the death for Becky's love.

Becky rose to her slipper clad feet.

"Guys, please! I know you all adore me and long for my vibrant sexuality, but I belong to no man." She tossed her flowing locks. Becky was proud of her little speech and was about to suggest the perfect solution when the scene around her froze. She looked around and saw Chuck behind the crystal throne.

"Hey Becky," he said with a small wave as he walked towards her.

"Chuck! What are you doing in my dream?" The last person Becky would want fighting over her was Chuck. Sure he was cute, and a really nice guy, and he gave her access to all the unpublished Supernatural books, but he wasn't dream worthy. That's partly why she had to break up with him, she needed a man who could sweep her off her feet. Chuck looked around at the three warriors, frozen pre-battle.

"This is what you dream about?" Chuck seemed amused.

"Hey, don't judge me," she said stopping hands on her hips. "What do you want Chuck?," she sneered. Becky had no idea why she was dreaming about her ex, but he was ruining her vibe.

"I need your help Becky. I need you to get a message to Sam Winchester."


	2. Chapter 2

Jody was having one of those days. She sighed and tried again to review the budget reports Cheryl had put on her desk, but although she'd read the page twice already, she had no idea what it said. This wasn't like her, she kept thinking about her son. Between work, and the girls, and the occasional hunting trip, Jody found that she barely had time to eat or sleep, much less dwell on the past. But today, she found her thoughts turning to Owen and Sean and the life that fell apart eight years ago. Today she was worried and restless, she felt old, sad and more broken than usual. Shoving the reports aside, she decided to get out of the office, so she grabbed her jacket and headed to her squad car before anyone could stop her or ask where she was going.

Once in the vehicle, Jody put the car in drive and headed to the outskirts of town. As always, she took a small detour on her way across town. She was consistently careful to avoid driving by her old house, the images of her husband's partially eaten body and her bloody, zombie son were still too close, too painful even after all these years. It made her melancholy to see the home where they had once been a happy a family. That life was long gone, and there was nothing there for her anymore except pain.

Today, Jody also was careful to avoid her new house. She loved her new life, but she wasn't in the mood for a houseful of young women who had a tendency to bicker and tease each other. There was seldom a quiet moment in her home, and she needed a place to think. She was worried about the Winchester boys. Dean, kidnapped by a freaking archangel who was doing God knows what with his body. And Sam, barely holding it together and working himself to death trying to save his brother. Jody felt helpless and angry and so badly for these two men who gave so much to the world, but seemed to get nothing but crap in return.

Feeling contemplative, Jody found herself pulling up to the remains of Singer Salvage. The crumbled remnants of Bobby's burnt out house had sunk into a soft pile, and the weeds and scrub were slowly overtaking the rotting tires and rusting junkers that were scattered all over the lot. But it was someplace where she could be alone and enjoy the quiet. Jody felt closer to Bobby here. He may have been a cranky, old drunk, but she could almost hear his practical advice and feel his calm presence when she sat among the ruins of his home. It was a nice feeling, and hopefully it would help shake her out of the funk she found herself in today.

But once again, the day disappointed her. Jody was not pleased to find a grey sedan parked in the gravel laneway. Cautiously she climbed out of her car, one hand on the radio at her shoulder and the other within easy grasp of her gun. Jody could hear someone shouting. Walking a little farther into the maze of derelict cars Jody found a woman. She was petite, blonde, early to mid-thirties and was wearing a sweater, knee socks and a corduroy skirt. There was nothing particularly threatening about the woman. Although you never knew with crazy folk. Luckily Jody was aware that a lunatic shouting in a junkyard was a long way from the most dangerous thing she could encounter.

"Hey, Miss," Jody called to get the woman's attention. "What are you doing out here?"

"Oh thank goodness," the younger woman replied. "I was worried that no one would hear me." The crazy lady moved closer and Jody made sure a small stack of ancient tires was between her and the other woman. She looked relatively normal, but a little distance wouldn't hurt.

"I asked, what you are doing out here, Miss. This junkyard isn't safe," Jody said in her best sheriff voice. The blonde stooped to pull up her soot-streaked socks before she answered.

"I'm on a mission from God!," she said self-importantly.

It was only Jody's professional training that prevented her from rolling her eyes at that.

"O...kay," Jody said reluctantly. "Well, Miss…"

"Rosen, Becky Rosen", the young woman replied.

'Well, Miss Rosen, this is private property so I'm going to need you to take your mission somewhere else." Jody hope that the woman wasn't so nuts that she couldn't be reasoned with. But Becky just shook her head and with a deep breath started talking.

"You don't understand, God sent me here," Becky gasped, speaking in a rush of words. "He came to me in a dream. Except in the dream He was disguised as my ex-boyfriend Chuck - which is weird, but I guess He works in mysterious ways. Anyway, God told me that I had to come here because I need to get a message to Sam Winchester." It was only Becky's need for oxygen that allowed Jody to get a word in.

"Wait, you know Sam Winchester?," Jody asked, surprised that this upbeat, quirky stranger knew anything about the Winchesters or their less than upbeat world.

"Duh!" Becky said, as if only an idiot would think otherwise. "I'm his ex-wife. Well, sort of. I mean we did get married in Vegas - he looked so handsome, and it was so romantic," she gushed. "But since he was under the influence of a love potion, that I got from a demon, who I swear I thought was just a Wiccan, and then we got an annulment, I guess I'm more like his former wife, not ex-wife." Jody was getting dizzy trying to follow Becky's rapid paced monologue. The younger woman tilted her head and frowned as if working out a puzzle. "I think maybe that's why God picked me." She shook her head before continuing. "Anyway, Dream-Chuck - AKA God, told me that Sam needed help because his brother Dean is in trouble and that I had to come to this place where I would find someone who could get His message to Sam. It was all very exciting and mysterious, but I guess that's you!"

The blonde practically beamed at Jody who was still struggling to process everything she'd just learned. Sam had an ex - sorry, former wife? God had a message about Dean? This all sounded so insane, but Jody had learned that lots of things that sounded crazy were real. She also knew just how desperate Sam was. If this Becky person really had information that could help rescue Dean, Jody couldn't afford to ignore it. Even though it was years ago, when she had helped Sam find a way to get Dean back from 1944, she still remembered how he had worked himself to exhaustion. If she hadn't been there to push the issue, Jody knew that Sam wouldn't have eaten or slept until he'd saved his brother. She could only imagine what the poor guy was going through under the current circumstances. Jody pulled out her notebook and pen.

"Okay, so let's start with your name and some details, then, if you are who you say you are, I can get your message to Sam."

Half an hour later, Jody followed Becky back to her motel and made sure that the girl got into her room safely. Becky seemed to almost collapse once she'd relayed the holy message and was practically asleep before Jody said goodbye. A domestic disturbance call came over the radio next, so it was a few hours after that when she finally made it back to the privacy of her office. Sitting at her computer, Jody did a little research through both official and unofficial channels. Becky's story - even the quickie marriage and annulment to Sam checked out so Jody picked up her cell phone.


	3. Chapter 3

Mary stood looking down at her youngest son. Sam was in bed, finally getting some rest with a little pharmaceutical help she and Bobby had practically forced down his throat. They had all been working non-stop ever since Dean had gone missing, and Mary didn't know which son she was more worried about. God only knows where Michael had taken Dean and what horrors the archangel could be inflicting on her eldest.

But Sam was killing himself in his determination to save his brother. He seldom left the library, reading book after book, searching and searching for any way to wrestle Dean out of Michael's clutches. Sam wouldn't eat until Jack, with tears in his eyes practically begged him to. He almost never slept no matter how much Mary, Jack or Bobby begged, pleaded or ordered him too. Even the few hours of rest he caught slumped over his books were marred with nightmares. Sam would either jolt awake with a scream of terror, or even worse scramble awake with tears in his beautiful eyes - eyes that had a habit of scanning the room, looking for his big brother. Mary knew that although she was Sam's mother, Dean was his parent. Her heart ached for her boys.

Running a gentle hand over Sam's hair, she leaned over and ghosted a kiss over his temple. She turned to go when his phone, which was sitting on his desk began to vibrate. Quickly, she snatched up the phone and fled into the hallway so that the sound wouldn't wake Sam. Mary still wasn't too keen on the unfamiliar technology, she missed actual buttons. The only good thing about the new fangled things is that they told you who was calling. Sam's phone read "Jody" in big letters with a demanding green icon.

Mary hadn't actually spoken with Sheriff Mills since she'd tried to kill the woman in her own home. It was almost immediately afterwards that Lucifer had dragged her into the alternative world. There hadn't been time for apologies, and too much to deal with since returning, to dwell on how guilty she felt about what she'd done while brainwashed. To be honest, Mary figured that whatever tentative relationship she'd begun to build with Jody was long dead. She hesitated, but then finally hit the answer button.

"Hello?," Mary said, still wondering why she didn't just leave it to go to voicemail.

"Uh, Sam?" Jody's voice sounded confused.

"Hi Jody, it's Mary. Sam's sleeping right now." There was a long pause, so Mary stumbled on. "Um, I can take a message and have Sam get back to you if you'd like?" Mary felt awkward and uncomfortable, even as she walked back to the library in search of a pen and paper. Across the line, Jody cleared her throat.

"No, no, it's fine," she said. "So Mary... Hi, uh welcome back." Jody cleared her throat again. "Um, Dean told me some of what you've been through….so how are you?" Jody sounded a little awkward too, but Mary's heart warmed at the olive branch the other woman had just offered.

"Thank you, I'm….adapting." Mary decided to just confront the elephant that seemed to be lurking between them. "Look, Jody. I need to apologize for everything I did to you, I -" Jody cut her off.

"Please, no need to apologize. You were brainwashed, besides I'm fine, you're better, and it was a long time ago now." The warmth had crept back into Jody's voice for which Mary was eternally thankful. Jody was a big part of her son's lives. As much as it caused her a little pang of anguish to think that Jody had a role in Sam and Dean's world when she didn't, Mary was also grateful that her boys had someone who cared about them to turn to.

"Still, I want you to know Jody, just how sorry I am for what happened. I really appreciate everything you do for Sam and Dean." Mary let her feelings bleed into her own voice a little more than usual. Maybe she and Jody could find their way to being friends at some point.

"Speaking of Dean," Jody began. "I might have something that can help him. That's why I called. It's a little crazy," she sighed before continuing, "but apparently God has a message for Sam that could help rescue Dean." Mary sat down at the library table where Bobby and Jack were researching. There was so much that her two sons had been through, and she knew only a tiny portion, but as insane as a message from God sounded, she knew enough to believe it was possible.

"Jody, crazy is kind of the norm around here. And if it can help Dean, then I'm all ears. Do you want me to wake up Sam?" Mary could almost hear Jody thinking, but finally the sheriff replied.

"No - let the poor man sleep. No doubt he's worrying himself sick. I'll pass on the message to you and then he can call me back when he's awake if he wants more details." Mary found herself nodding while the other woman spoke, glad that Sam could continue to get some much needed rest. She pulled over one of Sam's notepads, flipped to a blank page, and picked up a handy pen.

"Okay. I'm ready when you are," she told Jody.

"So, this doesn't make a lick of sense to me, but here are the exact words of the message. 'On the head of a pin, the answer lies within.' I have no idea what it means, but that's the message. Maybe Sam can figure it out." Jody sounded apologetic, but Mary felt hopeful. At least it was something and although she wasn't particularly happy with God and the current situation, at least He was paying attention in some regard. Mary read the message back to Jody to be sure she had recorded it correctly.

"Thanks Jody - I'll let Sam know as soon as he wakes up. Meanwhile, Jack, Bobby and I will put our heads together."

Mary said goodbye and ended the call while Bobby and Jack looked on expectantly.

"Did Sheriff Mills have some new information about Dean?," Jack asked. His eager expression made Mary smile. After Lucifer stole his grace and showed his true colors, Jack had been depressed. The youngster was just recently starting to return to his normal self; curious, sweet and earnest.

"Yeah, apparently God has sent Sam a message." At Mary's words Bobby leaned forward.

"Excuse me? God? As in the the Big Guy upstairs?" Bobby shook his head in amusement. "Well don't that beat all. Leave it to you Winchesters. Well, let's get at it. What's the message?" Mary had to smile. Bobby Singer was a paranoid, gruff, old warrior, but he was also secretly a teddy bear with a big heart. She was growing quite fond of him. Holding up the notepad with the message, Mary read it out loud.

"On the head of a pin, the answer lies within."

"I don't understand the message," Jack complained mildly. "Why couldn't my grandfather have just told us what He wanted us to know?" It was still a little jarring how Jack so easily claimed his divine heritage, but in this case, Mary had the same question.

"I wish I knew, Jack," she said gently. With a sigh Jack turned back towards the laptop while Bobby pulled a book towards him.

"The term was used as a way to criticize the pointless debates of early philosophers. I can't see how that applies to our current situation, but I'll check it out," Bobby said, scratching his head. With that the library fell quiet as the three began to read.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel pulled his car to a stop outside of the bunker. As much as it was good to be home, he knew that he had no good news to share. He had been tracking Michael, trying to keep tabs on his whereabouts. The archangel who was possessing Dean had so far been keeping a low profile in terms of causing disruption in the human world, but he'd been unconcerned with keeping his intentions quiet. Angel radio was awash with Michael's ravings, and Cas knew it was only a matter of time before he began to wreak havoc. He rested his head against the seat back and closed his eyes, listening to the quiet tick of the cooling engine. Michael was too powerful. There was nothing Cas could do to free Dean. He had no way of knowing if Michael had Dean locked away in a corner of his own mind, or if the archangel was torturing his friend. Even if they were able to find a way to expel Michael from Dean's body, Cas feared the state Dean would be left in. Cas wasn't entirely sure what would be worse - having to kill Dean to stop Michael, or ejecting the angel, leaving his best friend - his brother, a drooling vegetable.

Cas climbed out of the car. He didn't have much to report, but he wanted to check on Jack and Sam. Cas worried about the young man he considered a son and even more about Sam, his other brother. It had taken quite a while for the nephilim to recover from Lucifer's attack both physically and mentally. But, while Jack was slowly healing, Sam was beginning to fall apart - well as much as the younger Winchester ever did. Sam worked hard to appear calm, reasonable and analytical, but Cas could see the toll the strain was taking on him. The tall man had lost weight, he had dark circles like bruises under his eyes and he was speaking less and less. Cas could feel Sam's tension and longing for his brother like a constant thrum, a continual undercurrent to Cas' own worry. He was afraid for Sam.

Three heads turned his way as Cas walked down the iron staircase. He was surprised not to see Sam bent over a book as he made his way through the map room, into the library. Jack got up and came over, wrapping his arms around Cas who squeezed his son before the young man pulled away slightly.

"Find anything?," Jack asked, hope shining in his eyes. Cas had to look away.

"Nothing new, I'm afraid." Cas could see Mary deflate slightly at this news even as she came over and squeezed his shoulder affectionately.

"Where is Sam?," Cas asked. Bobby gave Cas a brief nod on his way to the bar cart to refill his glass. Even though Bobby understood that Cas was an ally, the angel knew it was hard for the man to warm up to him. Dean had explained when they first returned from the apocalypse world that it would be hard for the refugees to feel comfortable around him. After all, weak as he was, Cas was a still an angel, the same species that had destroyed their lives and home. Mary patted his arm.

"We convinced him to take something and get some sleep," she said, a heaviness in her voice that reflected her concern for her son.

"Damn fool, is running himself into the ground," commented Bobby as he swirled the amber liquor around his glass. Despite the fact that this Bobby wasn't the same man who had been like a second father to the Winchesters, he had quickly grown fiercely protective of Mary, Jack and Sam. Cas was content to include the gruff warrior as one of the people he considered family, even if the feeling wasn't yet reciprocated.

"Castiel, my grandfather sent us a clue!," Jack broke in excitedly.

"Who? God?" Cas was confused. If God had intervened, he was certain there would have been a massive buzz amongst the remaining angels.

"Yes, he sent a message through Sam and Dean's friends." Jack picked up the notepad and showed the words to the angel. Cas studied the phrase carefully. He was familiar with the debate of early philosophers, but this message seemed irrelevant to the current situation.

"The number of angels that could fit on the head of a pin would depend on which plane of existence in which the angels were to manifest. I don't understand how this can help us find Michael and Dean."

"Join the club," groused Bobby as he retook his seat. Mary just smiled at Cas and rubbed his arm gently.

"We're researching it now if you want to join us," she said gesturing to an empty chair. Cas nodded, but he'd could hear faint sounds of distress, too soft for human hearing, but sounds with which he was sadly familiar.

"I will join you in a moment, first I want to check on Sam." Cas smiled in apology, but walked quickly down the corridors of their home to Sam's room.

The door was open a crack, probably as Mary had left it. Cas slipped inside, trying to prevent the light from the hallway from waking his friend. Cas spent a moment looking down at the sleeping man. During the weeks since Lucifer was killed and Michael had absconded with Dean, Sam had been becoming more and more stoic and silent. If someone didn't know Sam well, they might think that he was stressed, but coping. But, Cas knew better. He had been with Sam before when Dean was missing and in danger.

Sam was moaning softly in his sleep. With his impossibly strong will muted by exhaustion and whatever Mary had given him, Cas could feel the fear and yearning that was tormenting Sam in his dreams. Reaching out, he put a careful hand on Sam's shoulder the way he had seen Dean calm his brother's nightmares many, many times in the past.

"Easy Sam," he murmured, but even in his sleep, Sam seemed to know that he wasn't Dean. The youngest Winchester continued to shift uneasily, and Cas could feel Sam's heart pounding as he turned his head from side to side atop the sweaty pillow.

"No….no. Don't...Dean… Dean!," Sam began to thrash in earnest so Cas gripped his shoulder harder and shook.

"Sam, wake up."

Sam jolted out of sleep. His hand came up and clutched Cas's wrist, but then he seemed to focus on the angel's face and calmed down a bit.

"Cas. Hey...is everything okay?" He still seemed a bit disoriented, but Cas watched as Sam's eyes slid around the room. Cas knew that he was looking for Dean, something he'd been automatically doing for most of his life. Sam's hazel eyes were sad, but he smiled at Cas before releasing his arm.

"Yes Sam. I'm sorry to wake you, but you were having a nightmare." he said apologetically, stepping back out of Sam's personal space. Sam just shook his head and tossed back the covers, swinging his long legs out of bed.

"No, no...it's fine. I have to get back to researching anyway," Sam said, dragging a hand across his mouth and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Any news?," Sam asked as he pushed himself to his feet and ran his fingers through his unruly hair.

"Well, I still only have a general location for Michael. But apparently my father has sent a message to you. Mary, Bobby and Jack are looking into it." Cas passed on the information as casually as possible. He didn't see the value in the message, but he didn't want to discourage Sam before his friend had even read it. He saw the tiny flare of hope that appeared in Sam's expressive eyes and prayed that it wasn't misplaced

"Really. Chuck sent a message? That's - that's unexpected. Let me just throw some clothes on and I'll join everyone in the library." Sam's voice was level, if still rough from sleep. Cas hoped with all his being that this might be the lead needed to bring Dean home safely, but he just smiled at Sam, determined not to encourage Sam prematurely either.

"Of course," he said before turning and leaving Sam's room.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam was still so tired. His back and shoulders hurt, his head throbbed and his eyes felt gritty. He regretting taking the pills Mom had given him. Between the nightmares and the aches and pains in his body, he wasn't sure the few hours of sleep had been worth it. He dug some clean clothes out of his dresser and changed out of his sleepwear. His nightmares had been typical - Dean being tortured or killed by Michael or Lucifer, sometimes wearing Sam's face - whatever series of horrors his weary mind could conjur. Sam tried to push away those images and focus on the news that Cas had brought. A message from Chuck. Perhaps this would be the break they needed. A spark of hope seemed to settle deep in his chest, a tiny point of light against the void he felt inside.

Pushing open the door, he strode down the hall towards the library. He paused just before the doorway. Other than Dean, his entire family was sitting in the library, and they were counting on him. For a fleeting moment, he considered running away, jumping in the Impala and just driving. The weight of responsibility felt heavy. Dean had only said yes to Michael to save him. He'd only needed saving because he'd left Lucifer alive. Hell, Dean was only in this entire situation because of him. Maybe it would have been better for everyone if he'd just stayed vampire chow in the apocalypse world. Squaring his shoulders, Sam took a deep breath, shoved the guilt to the back of his mind and put on his game face. His family needed him. Dean needed him. He stepped into the library.

"Hi Sam, did you get some sleep, honey?," his Mom asked, a little frown of concern between her eyebrows. Sam cleared his throat. He didn't like lying to his mother, but what else was there to do.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks, I'm feeling better," Sam said. He avoided the three other sets of eyes on him and gave his Mom a weak smile. "So, Cas tells me that there's a message?" He walked over and took his usual seat at the table. Jack passed him over the notepad with a warm smile, while Bobby slid a glass his way. It was just a fingerful of whiskey, but Sam was hesitant to drink anything now that there was a new lead to follow. He gave Bobby a nod, but ignored the tumbler for now.

Sam read the message over.

"On the head of a pin, the answer lies within."

The words made no sense to him, but he gamely pulled his laptop over and began to work, conscious of the glances the others were sending him when they thought he wasn't looking. He kept his eyes locked to the screen even as the search ran, and let his thoughts drift. Sam was grateful, truly, at just how many people were caring and helping, but no one, not even Mom or Cas could fill the Dean shaped void that threatened to cave in his soul. There had been times in the past - too many times, when he had lost Dean. None of them had gone well. The depths to which he would sink, the things he would do and become...well no matter how much his head told him that he shouldn't, there was nothing he wouldn't do to save his brother. It scared him. Sam forced his thoughts back to the computer as the search results began to populate.

For a long time, the room was quiet, the silence broken only by the sounds of pages turning, chairs creaking and soft breathing, so when Sam's phone buzzed loudly, he wasn't the only one who jumped. Picking up the phone, he saw that it was Rowena. Stepping away from the table, Sam moved to the map room to take the call.

"Hello?"

"Hello Samuel," There was no mistaking the owner of the lilting voice, although the slight mocking tone no longer held any sting. In fact, now that Lucifer was dead Rowena sounded lighter and happier than she ever had. One of the few bright spots in the past few weeks had been his call to the witch to let her know that their tormentor was dead. Lucifer wasn't going to hurt her or anyone ever again.

"Hi Rowena," Sam sighed, trying not to sound impatient at her interruption. "How are you and Charlie? Where are you two?"

"We're in Las Vegas, Sam. Enjoying a wee bit of the high life." Rowena giggled slightly and Sam smiled, thinking of all the trouble the two red-heads could get into in Sin City. But then he remembered the many times he and Dean had ventured to Vegas. He cleared his throat to swallow the surge of emotion thinking about his brother brought.

"Uh, what have you been up to Rowena." Sam asked, hoping he wasn't going to regret asking. Rowena may have sensed his concern.

"Och, nothing for you to worry about Sam. Charlie has discovered a rare book shop and I've been enjoying a nice cup of tea in the spa here at the Four Seasons." Rowena hesitated before continuing. "But, we haven't forgotten about the situation with your brother," her tone changed and Sam tried to ignore the sympathy that crept into her voice. He couldn't bear it so he said nothing, waiting for the news he could tell was her original purpose for calling. She sighed before continuing.

"We were watching the news and Charlie says she spotted Michael. She's emailed you a link." Rowena stopped talking and the silence stretched between them for a while. "I just thought you should know," she finished quietly.

Sam walked back to the library and clicked over to his email. Refreshing his inbox he saw the message from Charlie. Closing his eyes he stopped, his finger hovering over the link. Sam wasn't sure he was ready to see whatever Charlie has sent, but he could almost feel Cas, Jack and his mother staring at him, and Bobby pointedly not. Clearing his throat again, he forced himself to open his eyes and appear calm, even as his heart began to pound.

"Sam?" came Rowena's tentative voice through the phone still in his hand.

"Thanks Rowena, tell Charlie I'll take a look. Bye," he said in a rush, now eager to get off the phone and away from any words of kindness. It was taking a lot of energy to hold himself together, the last thing he needed was one more person battering at his defenses with undeserved sympathy. Ending the call, he sat back down in front of the computer. Ignoring everyone else for now, he took a calming breath and opened the link.

The video was very short, just a news clip about a suspected double homicide in San Bernardino, but it included some stills from surveillance footage showing the murder suspect. At first Sam wasn't sure that the man on the video was the archangel wearing Dean. The old fashioned flat cap hid the man's face. But then the perpetrator looked up and there was no mistaking Dean's face. Sam bit back a gasp of recognition. The voice on the video asked for the public's help in solving the crime, but he'd seen enough and he shoved the laptop away and put his head into his hands.


	6. Chapter 6

Jack watched Sam's face closely as he watched the screen. Castiel had told him that it was not polite to stare, so he tried hard not to seem like he was looking, but he was worried. Sam was like another father to him and it made him sad to see Sam in such pain. His powers were much diminished since Lucifer had stolen his grace, but Jack could still feel the grief that weighed Sam down so heavily. It weighed him down too. He missed Dean. He wanted to thank Dean for being so patient and kind with him since he'd come back from the apocalypse world. Jack also felt guilty. If only he'd listened when Dean had tried to warn him about Lucifer.

Some of his feelings must have shown on his face because his father reached over and patted his arm. It was a comfort because when Sam his his face in his hands, Jack felt his heart break a little bit more. He saw Mary lay a comforting hand on Sam's back, rubbing gently and he felt useless to help his family. It was so unfair that Sam and Dean should be suffering. They came and rescued him and Mary and their friends from the other world, they sacrificed and worked so hard to help everyone, and first Sam then Dean had saved him from Lucifer, risking everything to do so. Jack's heart was aching, but he felt angry too.

Not knowing what else to do, he tugged the computer towards him so that he could see the video. He hit the mute button in deference to Sam, but watched the clip play with Castiel leaning against his shoulder so that he could also watch. He saw Michael in Dean's body in the grainy footage. Beside him, Cas sighed heavily and seemed to sink into himself. They had all hoped to save Dean before Michael began his terrible plans. Now it was his turn to squeeze Castiel's arm, hoping his father could tell how much he shared his pain.

The library was hushed. Jack could hear Sam's ragged breaths as a counterpoint to the soft scratch of Mary's hand on the fabric of Sam's shirt. Cas pushed back his chair with a quiet drag then stood and walked a short distance away to lean against one of the shelves, his head bowed. Even Bobby's glass sounded loud as it clunked gently against the table. Jack didn't know what to do, when movement on the computer screen caught his eye. The video had finished and another one had started. He reached out to hit stop when he saw it.

At the side of the screen was an advertisement. Sam had explained that websites track the places you visit on the internet and the things you searched for, and then would suggest products and services that related to what you'd been looking at. Sam found it annoying and invasive, but Jack secretly found it fascinating that a machine could try and be helpful. Right now, there was an advertisement for an online book called "On the Head of a Pin." According to the ad, the book was part of a series by Carver Edlund called "Supernatural" about the adventures of Sam and Dean Winchester. This was puzzling.

"Castiel," he called softly. He didn't want to disturb the quiet in the room, but he needed his father's help to understand what he was seeing. Castiel came back and sat down beside him again. "What does this mean?" Jack asked in a whisper, pointing at the screen. Castiel's eyes scanned the image quickly then suddenly he pulled over the computer closer.

"Sam?," Castiel asked quietly, an odd tremor in his rough voice. Sam raised head slowly. "Sam, I think Jack found something." The angel quickly carried the laptop around the end of the table and placed it back in front of Sam. Pointing, he waited for Sam to read the small ad.

xxxxxxxx

Sam appreciated the comfort his mother was trying to give, but barely restrained himself from shrugging off her hand. He tried to get his breathing under control, refusing to let the tears he could feel pooling in his eyes fall. Logically he knew that this would happen eventually, that at some point Michael would begin his mission to "purge" the sin from this world. But it still hurt. Sam had no idea if Dean was locked away in his own mind right now, unknowing what Michael was using his body to do. But even if he was, the memories of everything the archangel was doing, were still going to be there. He knew from personal experience that remembering your own hands, murdering someone was painful to say the least. He only prayed that he could get his brother back in one piece. Then Sam would do whatever he could to help Dean cope with the horrible memories.

As Sam struggled to pull himself together he heard Cas call his name. He didn't want Cas' sympathy, but something in the angel's tone forced him to look up. Cas walked around the table and set the laptop in front of him. He pointed to something on the screen.

Charlie, the one from their world, had told him that all of Chuck's books had ended up on the internet, not just the ones that had been published. Sam had never wanted to read them, had never wanted anyone to read them. Those books had put all his flaws and mistakes and bad decisions out there for the world to see. They revealed private moments of pain, fear, shame and joy and spread them out on display. Even thinking about them made him cringe, so he didn't realize that one of the books had the very title that they had been looking for. A thrill surged through him. This had to be what Chuck's message had been referring to!

"What is it Sam?," Mom asked as he pulled the computer closer to him and clicked the link. Sam wanted to respond, but found his mouth dry and his pulse racing. Cas answered Mom instead.

"Jack found a book. It's part of the Winchester Gospels." Even to Sam's ears the excitement in Cas' gravelly voice was hard to miss.

"The what?," Mom asked.

Sam tuned them both out as Cas explained to his mother the ridiculous books and their supposed importance. He was too busy purchasing the e-book to bother listening. It only took a minute or two to gain access. As he picked up the tumbler that Bobby had given him earlier and drank down the whiskey, he began to read.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam didn't notice as first one, then another of his family left the library for the night. He was too absorbed in reading the story of one of the worst times in his life. The novel actually began with Cas, investigating the death of a fellow angel. Sam hadn't really thought how much beyond him and Dean might be captured in these books and it was certainly fascinating to read and remember just how stiff and militaristic Cas had been back then. Of course this was back when he was "the boy with the demon blood," and an abomination in the eyes of the angels.

As he read, Sam had to revisit his own hubris. How he got Pamela killed, how he treated Dean as if he was weak or stupid, driving a huge wedge between him and his brother. It was painful to read Dean's desperation and fear at being forced to torture Alastair and even more painful to read about his skill at doing so. At the time, once he'd found his brother and rescued him and Cas from the demon Sam had be too busy getting Dean to a hospital and too worried that Dean was going to die to ask for details about what had happened in that room.

And then there was Ruby. To be honest, Sam found it difficult to read his interactions with the demon bitch. It made him sick to his stomach to see in black and white how he let her call him Sammy, how he had kissed her eagerly, and how he had drank her blood like the lowest kind of vampire. Sam had to push away from the laptop for a minute to let his stomach settle. He knew the story was going to get worse, that he would still have to read what Alastair said and did to Dean.

Briefly he considered asking someone else to read the rest, to try and find the answer Chuck had hidden in the book, but as disgusted as he was with himself, Sam wasn't a coward. And besides, there was no way he would want anyone he cared about to read this. Shame washed over him, and he scrubbed a hand across his face and poured himself another finger of whiskey from the bottle Bobby had left on the table. The burn down his throat as he drank calmed him slightly and with a deep breath he pulled the computer closer and continued reading.

Finally Sam found it. Alastair had tried to exorcise Cas. The latin was incomplete, but Sam recognized the first few words. His back and neck were stiff and sore from sitting in the hard wooden chair for so long, but Sam jumped up, not feeling the ache at all. Pulling a thick book off a shelf, he dragged it back to the table and began flipping through. Then he grabbed the notebook with the precious translation of the Demon table that Kevin had provided. Trying hard to control his excitement, Sam began putting the pieces together

xxxxxx

Cas was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling fan spinning above him. There were times that he wished he could sleep, remembered sleeping when he was briefly human. The idea of escaping, if only for a little while, the myriad of thoughts pulsing around his head was appealing. But even if he didn't sleep it was pleasant that he had a room of his own. His thoughts turned back to his human experience. At the time, everything had been frightening, he could barely cope with the constant demands of his body, and was almost debilitated by the terrifying helplessness he had felt.

In a way, he felt that way again - completely helpless. There was nothing he could do to save Dean, he couldn't erase the trauma and fear Jack had experienced, and he couldn't do more for Sam than his paltry attempts at research and surveillance. The ceiling fan above him whirred softly as he reviewed his failures, so focused on his thoughts that he didn't hear Sam until there was a soft knock on his door. Cas pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the bed as Sam peeked around the slightly open door.

"Sam, is everything Ok?" He had left Sam in the library, fully immersed in his reading and was surprised to see the young man at his door in the middle of the night with is laptop underneath one arm.

"Yeah, I think I found it Cas….I think I found a way to save Dean." Cas could see Sam try to control the trembling in his hands as he unfolded the computer and handed it to him. Whatever Sam had discovered had renewed his hope and now he was practically vibrating with need. A need that was familiar to Cas who had seen the brother's forced apart before.

"What did you find?" Cas forced himself to remain calm. He gestured to the desk chair, urging Sam to sit as he scanned the text on the screen, but instead the tall man began to pace in the small space.

"It was in the book, just like Chuck said. Alastair tried to exorcise you, to send you back to Heaven. I guess you don't remember because this was before Naomi screwed with your head. But if we can use this to kick Michael out of Dean's body, it will buy us some time. It's not perfect, but Michael will have to find another willing vessel - unless the remaining angels can keep him in Heaven, but," he paused to take a breath. "But we'll have Dean back." Sam's voice cracked a little on his brother's name and he looked at Cas with desperate eyes.

Cas knew that there were a myriad of problems still facing them, even if they could find and trap Michael long enough to use the exorcism that Sam had found. He reached out and griped Sam's wrist, bringing his frantic movement to a stop. Head dropping, Sam stood before him, muscles taut, tension radiating off of him like heat from a flame.

"Sam," Cas began tentatively, "we don't know if this will work on an archangel…" He stopped and looked closely at his friend. He had known the Winchesters for a long time. They were his family and he knew them, sometimes better than they knew themselves. He could see that Sam was at the end of his rope. Sam was the strongest human Cas had ever known, and had endured things no one could even imagine, yet he stood before him lost and hurting like a small child. If there was one thing he had learned about his brothers over the past ten years, it was that they needed each other. Together they had repeatedly changed the fate of the world and accomplished the impossible. But apart...well neither of them had ever functioned well without the other.

Cas rose and put his hand on Sam's shoulder. He knew that he should point out all the flaws and difficulties in the plan - that he should warn Sam of all the ways this could go wrong and just how damaged Dean could be even if they succeeded. But he couldn't do it, he couldn't crush Sam that way.

"We don't know if this will work on an archangel, but we'll try." The smile that broke across Sam's face was a faint shadow of his normal dimpled grin, but it was the first true smile he's seen in weeks. They had hope - broken and dented though it may be. His family had made miracles happen before, so Cas let himself smile back. "Let's go save Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my goal was to contrast the end of Season 13 with Season 12. This year Sam and Dean have lots of family and friends to help, but they don't have each other. Last year, they lost everyone but each other. I'm excited to see what Season 14 brings!


End file.
